Archive for The Unvarnished Truth
Moving Forward
Posted by: | CommentsLast week I experimented with doing only what I wanted to do, in the moment, rather than things I felt I “should” do because it would bring me a certain result in the future. It was hard, not least because the critic in my head kept telling me I’d never get anywhere if I didn’t knuckle down and focus and I’d just gone back to my old, bad habits, and I was just avoiding things.
But, surprisingly I did actually get a lot of things done and, a lot of time I worked in a more balanced way. As soon as I found myself staring at the computer screen or trawling through email or forums I made myself get up and went and did something physical. Then I came back to the computer and did the next thing.
When I wrote my earlier post, I’d got to the point of questioning whether or not I should continue with the internet business because I was not enjoying my life writing and spinning articles. That’s what it felt it had been reduced to, so narrow had my view become.
But, after a week of experimenting, I confirmed for myself exactly what it is I enjoy doing in this business and what I don’t. I feel a new determination to find a way to make this work without spending so much time on tasks I really dislike.
In addition to this I also discovered some other things that had been buried by the daily grind. One was that I really, really want to do an apprenticeship with Michael Neill and the other was that I’d been allocating no time to my coaching business.
In order to do the apprenticeship I need to create a big chunk of money by the end of December. Previously, the only way I could see to do this was to force myself to ramp up the internet marketing, doing stuff I don’t want to do and I now know that that just isn’t going to happen.
As soon as I began experimenting with the “want to” and let go of the “how to” I started to notice other options.
One is an autoblogging course being piloted by Web2Mayhem (more about that in future posts) and the other was an old site of mine from which I sell an ebook I wrote a while back.
The ebook and site is about depression recovery and has been languishing away in cyberland untouched for years. It’s an obvious place to step up my income but I tend to ignore it for a number of personal reasons.
If I put those aside I ought to be able to increase visitors and sales. However, I don’t want to handle the customer service or spend a lot of time updating it and then maintaining it, so I put it to the back of my mind again.
A couple of days later I realised a better idea would be to make the improvements needed and then sell it. Then I wouldn’t need to manage customer service or keep the site updated. And, since buying and selling websites is one of Ed’s special areas of expertise I’m in the perfect place to do this.
Finally, I attended a call that was given by John Jonas of Replace Myself. He’s the owner of the site I used previously to try to find an outsourcer. An encouraging thing he said was that it is common for workers to disappear overnight (as happened with both my attempts) and it was usually due to their feeling embarrased about not being able to do something. That fits with my experience. I was probably expecting too much from them, too soon.
So, armed with that knowledge I now feel ready to give my internet marketing outsourcing project another go. This time I will have a more precise plan of exactly what I need them to do. Starting with something simple and building up from there.
I’ll let you know how it goes . . .
Focussing on the “Want To” Not the “How To”
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve had a complaint that, of late, my blog posts have been a bit boring. And if you’re not into the Ed Dale Challenge I can see why that would be. And, even if you are, I’ve not really made them personal. It’s been a bit a of a gallop through as I try to catch up, so I can see there’s not been much of interest.
And that makes me realise I’m trying to catch up so I can write about it on my blog because I’m being mentored by Ed and it’s his thing.
But is it my thing? That’s such an important question to ask yourself. Are your working at something because you want to or because you feel you “should”.
Truth be told, I’m not enjoying writing about the Challenge so far because most of it I’ve covered before and I’m only really interested in the new stuff, and that lack of interest is reflected in my writing. So, I will no longer write because I think I “should” and hopefully things will become interesting again.
While I’ve been busy boring readers with my Challenge renditions I’ve been avoiding writing about the more important stuff that I’ve been grappling with. To tell the truth I’ve been feeling a bit embarrassed about my lack of progress.
The “should” of writing about the Challenge is part of a bigger “should” connected with how I “do” my business. It’s been Ok reporting about my experiences of tackling CFT and the daily grind, as long as I was actually doing it.
I thought I could sustain hours of doing work I really did not enjoy because I was determined to create a successful internet business. But, it’s not working for me. I’m finding the end goal is not sufficient motivation to keep me in the grind.
So, what to do?
I could throw in the towel once and for all and feed the story that I will never be successful at this, or I can shift my focus.
One of the problems with living in the grind is you lose your creativity and things get to look a bit black and white, a bit either/or. It’s easy to get caught up in the details and the “how to” and before you know it you’ve lost touch with the “want to”.
If I change the question I ask from “can I do this?” to “do I want to do this?”, I find my answer is still “yes”.
So, I need to take a step back in order to gain some perspective and reconnect with what it is I really want to do.
As Michael Neill, a widely respected transformation coach says, “if you allow yourself to navigate by your own desire instead of what’s possible you’ll find so much more is possible than you currently think”.
So, I’m going to have a week of paying close attention to what I really want to be doing at any moment and experimenting with what happens when I do.
Internet Marketing – My Personal Grist For The Mill
Posted by: | CommentsI am a great believer that whatever we need in life to progress is right there for the taking. Most of the time we simply don’t notice and other times, we choose not to.
I wrote about internet marketing overwhelm a couple of weeks ago and I have been in and out of that until today. There has been a lot of stuff swirling around my brain and I’ve taken a number of false steps to deal with it but, this morning, I feel I am back on track.
Last week I stalled around moving my outsourcing projects forward and, in true “who wants to be a millionaire” style, I phoned a friend. I thought the discussion was going to be about my next step regarding the outsourcing but I ended up realising, that more critical, was my need to do something about the overwhelm and muddled thinking. And right here is an example of a “choosing not to” situation. I’ve been “choosing not to” because I’ve been wanting my external situation to change, without having to change myself/mind.
I was doing well in the early days of the mentoring but, if you’ve followed this blog, you will know that things began to slip fairly rapidly. The last time I sent in a CFT report was 11th May and last time I did a full weeks worth of 5 consecutive days was . . . wait for it . . . week beginning 21st March!!!!!! And, truthfully, I’ve only completed 2 full weeks of CFTs since I started.
Blimey, I thought I was bad but I didn’t realise I was that bad!
But . . . and here’s the good bit . . . I’m learning. And that is why Internet Marketing is my personal grist for the mill. By committing to this year of mentoring and to building an online business I have created a framework within which I can work and learn and develop. Each day I discover more about how I operate, how I sabotage my efforts, which habits I need to replace with better ones, where I’m deceiving myself, what I do well, what I really enjoy etc. etc. And when I take the time to stand back and recognise this, I love it. It’s fun and worthwhile and I’m having a ball.
When I’m stuck in the overwhelm, or boredom, or questioning of why I’m doing this, it feels really naff! But that’s OK. I’m learning and, beginning to accept, that it’s just part of the process.
And today, with the sun streaming through the window and a wonderful weekend spent with family still fresh in my mind, I say “bring it on”!
Internet Marketing Overwhelm Is Kicked Into Touch
Posted by: | CommentsI looked at my inbox first thing and felt my energy drop as I was bombarded with the latest Internet Marketers plying their wares. As I’ve been feeling overwhelmed recently, I’ve not been opening these emails so they’re just sitting there, torturing me.
Here are just a few:
- Really cool opportunity (get in now)
- Life Changing (I Promise)
- Ready to TURBOCHARGE your web visitors and profits??
- Webinar That Will Change You (Seriously)
- I’ve got something BIG I WANT TO GIVE YOU
Why do I do this to myself? Why even read them?
I am haunted by a fear of missing something important – of missing the one big thing that’s going to make the difference. It seems to be part of my cells now, an almost instinctive response that makes it hard to let go. And yet, if I only stop to think about it this fear has no validity whatsoever because THERE IS NO ONE BIG THING.
I know from personal experience that there is always another “life changing” opportunity in internet marketing. Not to mention that, all the ones I’ve signed up for, in the past, never actually changed my life. But that’s all part of the internet marketing dream isn’t it? The magical promise that some product is going to be the big thing that changes everything. It’s the same erroneous mentality as winning the lottery. And we all know that the vast majority of the big “winners” can’t hold onto the money or end up miserable. But still we chase the dream.
Well not me. Not any more!
Behaving as though there is something important out there to miss is slowing me down, confusing me and is counter productive to my achieving what I’m really after. I have caused this internet marketing overwhelm so I can get out of it too. Here’s how:
- take a deep breath.
- unsubscribe from all “just in case I miss something” email lists – not just internet marketing but coaching as well.
- unsubscribe from all teaching lists apart from Ed Dale’s.
- cancel all teaching products apart from Ed Dale’s mentoring.
- filter automated emails from my coach Elese Coit and from Michael Neill so they don’t hit my inbox. Read only when I need a bit of a motivational push.
- DO NOT SIGN UP FOR ANYTHING NEW unless it forms an intrinsic part of my CURRENT (as in RIGHT NOW) web marketing strategy.
- take a deep breath.
. . . Done!
Be The Change You Want To See
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s 8.30 a.m. and I’m already in my favourite cafe ready to go. I’m amazed at how busy it is. I’m often still in my dressing gown at this time of the day!
I’m here so bright and early because I wanted to write a blog post after my coaching session yesterday and recognised that I was unlikely to do it at home or in the co-working space I use. It feels a bit of a challenge and, as I mentioned in my creating a my productive environment post, my best strategy for overcoming my resistance is to take myself off to a caff and work there.
I had a great session with my coach yesterday afternoon. We explored the conflict between my desire to build an internet marketing business and my lack of drive to do so. It feels like I am constantly having to haul myself back onto the path. Constantly fighting resistance and constantly turning it into more of a drama than it really is. But, that’s OK. I’m new at this.
And when I say “this”, I don’t mean internet marketing. I’ve been playing around with that for years. By “this” I mean being truly committed to making a go of it. To really treating it like a business and connecting with it, rather than speaking the words and not acting on them. And when I say “acting on them” I don’t mean simply taking action but taking the right action. Taking the action that someone who was truly committed to building an internet marketing business would take.
The main takeaway from the session was what I’ve advocated on this blog, a number of times, namely, to connect what you are doing with why you are doing it. I keep forgetting to do this. Talk about “you teach best what you most need to learn”!
But there’s a bit of a twist for me. As you know by now, it’s not just about the money. It would be great to be in a financial position whereby my partner could give up his job, but that’s not enough to keep me at it.
I also want to coach and am not clear how that would actually look.
Because I want a successful internet marketing business whilst also wanting to coach, the purposes behind my sites have got a bit blurred. It’s a bit of a struggle to try and get traffic to this site using SEO because internet marketing is a saturated market, filled with experts. So, I need to return to where I started and treat Internet Marketing Coaching Year, primarily as a place where a story is told.
Then, my other sites, become “grist for the mill” for that story.
So what exactly is that story?
It is the story of someone who has been involved in internet marketing for 7 or 8 years without ever making a full-time living from it who is turning it around, not with strategies and tactics, but by transforming herself.
And that is the nub of my coaching. If you are currently unsuccessful at internet marketing, and you’ve been at it for a while, no amount of “better” strategies and tactics will change that. YOU have to change. You have to be the change you want to see.
At the start of each day, rather than asking yourself “What am I going to do today?” ask yourself “Who am I going to be today?” and then act accordingly.
Internet Marketing Overwhelm or Oops! I Did It Again
Posted by: | CommentsAs last week drew to a close and my stress levels increased. I realised I’d made the classic Internet Marketers mistake (again!) and was trying to focus in too many directions.
One of the reasons for joining Ed Dale’s mentoring programme was so I would have a structure to work within that might contain my tendency to jump from one thing to the other. Alas, in the short-term, this has not been the case. I’m still tempted by “shiny new” and, as a result, I find myself in a position of having to make some decisions about what to drop and what to keep.
There’s a fine balance to be drawn between focussing on a single thing (e.g. this website) and bringing other things into the mix to add a bit of variety which helps me stay interested and motivated. However, I need to work at something long enough to create a system around it, so I can outsource it. I’ve reached that point with the link building for this site so I’m ready to add something else into the mix.
Since I’ve never outsourced work full-time before, this process in itself has to be learned and is, therefore, a project in it’s own right.
So, currently I have this website and setting up an outsourcing project to focus on.
But . . . I’ve also been tempted by other stuff since I started the mentoring, some of which I’ve not mentioned before. These include – list control, the free “Take Over Page One” video course, John Reese’s Outsourcing videos, Crowd Mountain and the addition of Ed’s teaching on buying and selling websites. Oh yeah. And then there’s the stuff in 30 Day Challenge+ which is included in the mentoring package. So, with all these things swimming round in my head, you can see why my mind is beginning to get more than a little muddled.
There’s simply not enough time for me to do all those things – soooooo – how do I sort out the mess and narrow down my focus again?
Well, as I said – this website and setting up an internet marketing outsourcing project are in. This website is the current focus for my mentoring and I definitely need to outsource stuff if I want to create a business that I really enjoy. There is only one more John Reese outsourcing video so I’ll watch that later once my CFT is completed and then I can delete that from my list.
The 30 Day Challenge+ I can follow as and when I need it. I have created an index of what is available so I can check there when I have questions or am starting a new process.
List control, which has been on the back burner, will have to be dropped. I don’t have enough traffic to be building a list a this point and it just takes focus from what I need to be doing right now.
The “Take Over Page One” video course will be moved to the back burner. I will look at that once I’m actually in the position of making a video. Seems pretty obvious when you write it down, but it’s so easy to get sucked in and distracted when you have emails tempting you and what you’re currently doing is more than a little tedious!
What else . . .
Crowd Mountain. Hmmmm. Bit tricky this one.
My main motivation for signing up was to have an opportunity to try out the CM tools. However, the sales message was misleading. In the guarantee Michelle McPherson stated that, amongst other things, we would have 30 days to try out the tools. Once inside, this is not the case. Three weeks in and only one tool is available. We won’t have full access until week 6 apparently, so I’m not going to be able to test them out until after the guarantee has passed. That said, I like Michelle’s approach, so I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt and pay the money so I can try out the tools.
That results is a bit of a dilemma though. I’m tempted to follow the Crowd Mountain process as well as wait for the tools, which ties in quite nicely with what I’m doing since it has bits in common with the 30 Day Challenge. But there simply aren’t enough hours in a day. I think I’m just going to have to try and fit this is once my critical focus time blocks are completed.
Once I’ve got some outsourcing sorted I’ll be able to spend more time in Crowd Mountain and, possibly, apply the strategy to my old sites.
Life In The Grind
Posted by: | CommentsLife in the Grind was the subject of last week’s webinar. Apparently, there are a few mentoring students moaning about the boring work they’re doing. And, I have to admit, I’m one of them. Dull, dull. Endlessly dull.
The good news is I’m keeping at it. I’m plodding on and, for the most part, not being diverted. So that’s a success. Hoorah!
Before my 1:1 call with Ed Dale last week, I made a hasty dash to complete my CFT file. I’d been slacking a bit. Not wishing to gloss over the truth my last entry recorded:
21.4.10
45 mins 3 by hand comments
45 mins Faffed around
45 mins Faffed around
Fundamentally, I was struggling from a lack of variety. And, a lack of not noticing exactly what I’d achieved. Oh yeah, and from impatience.
Ed wrote a great blog post about this topic earlier in the week – How Farmville holds the secret to online success or something. In it, he explains that in the computer game World of Warcraft, apparently paid for and played by 11.5 million people per month, players (Oops, sorry, gamers) talk about “grinding”, i.e. getting to the next level. How soon they do that is a function of time spent playing the game, i.e. DOING stuff.
The equivalent in internet marketing is what you do in your Critical Focus Time which, as we know, consists of stuff like creating content and building back links.
So, considering the fact that most people who have a go at the internet marketing game don’t get very far, and faced with a bunch of moaning mentees, Ed poses an interesting question – given that millions are willing to grind away at games such as World of Warcraft everyday where there’s no monetary reward, where as in internet marketing being willing to work means you end up with actual cash -
“What’s different, what makes one form of grinding a game loved by millions and one seem like dreary work?”
Two things jump out at me in answer to that:
1. Implicit in the build up to the question is the assumption that people are “doing” internet marketing purely for financial gain. Now, admittedly that’s what most people would say they are doing but, in my experience as a coach, it’s never about the money. It’s what you think the money will buy you that’s what you’re really after. And if you don’t know what that is it’s hard to keep going when the going gets tough. If you can connect your end goal to your daily grind then you will find it easier to stay motivated. But just saying you want to make money isn’t sufficient.
2. The words “seem like dreary work” are an interesting choice. The fact is, no work is, in and of itself, dreary. Only your thinking makes it so. So, as I mentioned in ‘How To Manage Boring and Repetitive Tasks‘ if you keep telling yourself what you’re doing is boring then you’ll be right. Your work will be boring. (Note to self – please remember this and adjust voices in head accordingly!)
By making the daily grind into a bit of a game you can begin to play with ways of making it more interesting. For ideas on how to do this read the “boring and repetitive tasks” post. I would add to that the strategy of mixing things up. So far my focus has been on this website and building traffic to this website. Now that is ticking over I am ready to add a bit of variety and will be revisiting my old websites to see what might be done with them. Do I work on them and sell them? Do I just sell them? Do I work on them and keep them? Not sure.
The key thing is to accept is that the daily grind is a part of setting up an internet marketing business, that cannot be avoided. (At least in the beginning). So you might as well accept it. Then you can free up the energy, currently used in complaining, and use it on experimenting to find the ways that will make this process less painful for you. And, who knows? You might even find yourself enjoying it!
Creating A Routine
Posted by: | CommentsOK. OK. I put my hand up.
Not only did I not complete my Critical Focus Time over the last few days, but I didn’t send my reports in either.
Learning to be disciplined and changing old habits is not as easy as simply choosing to do so.
No, hang on. Actually, it is. But only when the choice is made on a moment to moment basis. The temptation is to decide to work in a certain way, make a commitment to that and then expect it to happen. Forever and ever, amen.
Even though the rational mind knows it will take a bit of an effort and learning, there’s part of me that thinks that, once I’ve decided, it’s done.
But that’s not how it works. New habits need to be practised.
The trick is to not let my “failures” stop me. That’s what I’ve always done in the past – made a commitment, got started, got disappointed at the lack of early results, or just got plain bored so moved onto pastures new. But this year is about sticking with it and stick with it I will!
So . . . today’s another day and a new week to boot. Once more into the fray and all that.
This Week’s Challenge
The challenge I have set myself for this week is to do what I’d said I’d do in my “more on critical focus time post” on 29th March, i.e build in more routine. I’m curious to see what effect this will have, so it’s a worthwhile experiment.
To save you having to look back here’s the plan:
As I said last time . . . I’ll report back next week . . .
20th April – Update
Still made no progress on creating a routine so going to leave it for a while. I’m taking a couple of steps back and refocussing on completing my CFT reports each day. I think I’m doing the work but I can’t be certain as I’m not writing a report each day. I need to get that habit more fully entrenched.
Julia Uses The “F” Word
Posted by: | CommentsWell that was one crapola day! First one since I began the mentoring when I didn’t do any Critical Focus Time activities. I woke up bored with the whole thought of it and failed to push on through. So here I am. At 17.21. The end of the working day in other words. Still faffing about on the internet.
In my 1:1 with Ed last week I said I would rather wait and create a business that I enjoyed, i.e. blogging about this 12 month experience, than create something just to make money. And he mentioned a couple of blogs where people had set out with no intention of making money but had, none the less done so. And that, as long as I was willing to wait, then carrying on with writing this blog, as part of the mentoring, was fine with him.
One of the blogs was the Julie/Julia project which I’ve just visited whilst NOT doing my CFT.
The first thing that leapt out at me was . . . now don’t laugh . . . that she uses the “f” word. I was struck, not so much by the use of the word itself, but the style of her writing and the image of her it conjures up in my mind = Someone who knows her own mind and is not afraid to express herself.
Whilst writing this blog I’ve been aware of a certain reluctance to say what I’m really feeling, for all sorts of reasons, and part of me longs to have the courage just to write it as it is. I’m too old for this “caring what other people think” s**t. And yet, if I cared that much, why bother publishing a blog at all?
In Julia’s second post she writes:
“The Hows and Wherefores…
For the moment, I will not tackle the existential query, “Why, Julie? Why Julia? Why now?” Instead, I shall stick to explicating the rules of engagement.”
I like that she doesn’t answer the “why” question. Since, in my own life, I have found it an oft overrated one. Not particularly useful whilst, at the same time, one I seem addicted to asking . . .
. . . “Why Gillian? Why Ed? Why Now?”
True to form I attempted to answer those questions in my first three internet marketing coaching year posts. But, today, after an exhausting lack of focus I’m tempted to answer:
“Why Gillian? Why Ed? Why Now?”
“WHY THE BLOODY HELL NOT?!”
And as for the “rules of engagement” . . .
Here are mine:
- I will not struggle.
- If I’m not having fun I will take the time to step back and do something about it.
- I will honour the commitment I have made to stick with this for 12 months whilst applying “1″and “2″ above.
